2012 — 24 December: Monday
Heaven's little shower head was still in the "off" position as the latest offer of "last-minute" gift vouchers1 from Play.com burped into the cyberspatial inbox shortly before 06:30. Just as well; my stock of 'fresh' cow juice is running a little low. And it's such a vital component of the regular cup that cheers I shall have to trot out today to find a cow before everyone shuts up shop for the festivities.
There's actually a hint of a dawn chorus starting up out there. The local cat population has seen off most of the regulars. I was watching, and listening, through my open skylight as a 'chuffa' whizzed smoothly and quietly by. Compared to the monsters that shook the house over 30 years ago before the local line had a speed restriction imposed (and while the Winchester bypass was still under construction) it was barely noticeable.
Golly!
I'd naïvely assumed that, by arriving at Waitrose less than 10 minutes after they opened at 08:00, I'd have an easy time of it. Far from it. The place was heaving. And if, as asserted, Asda exists solely to keep the riff-raff out of Waitrose, gawd alone knows what their profitable little hypermarket must have been like this morning. Still, most people don't bother to use the self-scan quick checkout system, so I was on my way again (clutching the cow juice and a few bits of fresh fruit etc) before 08:30. Now I can relax, think about breakfast, and prepare my next leisurely crockpot in my own good time.
I'd vaguely wondered whether to pick up a "Radio Times" but a) they had sold out, and b) if the "Private Eye" Remote Control column can be believed there is a pretty solid diet of repeats of stuff I have zero interest in in the first place. I see no real reason to deviate from my two-year-plus policy of simply not watching broadcast TV. Life is short enough already.
Crikey!
So there I was, browsing some of the contenders for Worst Website of 2012. I'd just sampled the sluggish delights on offer from the Ohio Academy of Science (find it yourself, and prepare to be bemused!) Thus it was I was introduced to something I guess everyone else has known about for years. A Google page speed checker.
Who could resist? Not me:
83% sounds like a passing grade. Mind you, I can take no credit whatsoever for any of the high- and medium-priority suggestions as I don't even know what most of them mean.
Identify the blithering idiot...
... who got so caught up with his meta-tag editing while listening to the latest Kermode and Mayo film review podcast that he a) forgot to make, let alone eat, his lunch (and thus began trembling), and b) also forgot to start preparing his tasty evening crockpot until about 30 minutes ago. Erm, yes, that would be me. Still, I've now managed both tasks in record time, without slicing and dicing any digits. [Pause] And I've just noticed it's been raining again at some point.
There's a walk of uncertain sogginess planned for tomorrow. And a pub lunch drink. Is this the Xmas spirit, or what?!
Today's mystery object
In thumbnail form...
And if you need a bigger clue.